LETTER TO OUR ESTEEMED PARENTS
by Akintola Oluwatobi
I remember a particular Sunday, when one of the teachers in the junior church department asked a boy to pick a broom and sweep the class. His response? “Aunty i am a boy! Boys don’t sweep”. The Aunty was very angry and shouted back at him “Bright pick that broom and sweep”. Picking someone to sweep the class is a regular practice every Sunday. We pick those that will sweep from the children (both boys and girls) but I can’t remember if i have ever picked him. The boy is seven years old and already gender sensitive to house chores.
Now I can’t say if Bright’s action is as a result of his upbringing from home because he has a nine year old brother who is a very cheerful and ‘go-to-boy’. That one will want to run an errand you sent a three year old.
The boys have lovely parents. Their father is the pastor in charge and the mother by her position as the pastor’s wife is one of us in the junior church department.
Now, there are two things i want to point our attention to, two kids, same gender, same parents, different dispositions. Every child has his/her own uniqueness and they must be treated as such. There are general rules in parenting and their are times you treat every child as an individual. We all have different emotions, opinions and choices.
Secondly, dear parents, we have trained the girl child enough! The wifely materials in them is of different shades and kinds in thousand yards. Now can we please shift our attention to the boy child quickly.
Let’s tell them they won’t become less of a boy if they pack their plates and wash after eating, can we tell them they won’t fall down and die if they sweep and mop?, It won’t reduce their manhood if they wash their boxers and singlets regularly, their skin won’t peel off if they bath twice a day, it’s not a big deal if they cook for the family.
Let them know it’s not costly to be honest and be a responsible man, teach them it is bad for a man to a cheat and promiscuous. Teach them a man that shout at his wife or raises his hand at a woman is a beast!
Let a male child cry when necessary. Stop saying ‘he’s a boy he boy he must not cry. He’s a boy, house chores are meant for girls’. Teach your boys all the good manners.
Don’t let loose ill-mannered and badly raised men into the society to trouble innocent and responsible women. Marriage will not change him! Their wives are not magicians.
Normalize correcting your male child when necessary. Train the male child too and they shall give you rest.
