Why you should hold your wallet during invitation to a restaurant in UK
By Amoka
I posted a picture of a dinner organised by my PhD supervisor to mark my graduation in July 2012 and there were comments that Nigerian academic supervisors don’t do that for their students. Some children were asking if I do that for my students. For 2 years before I left for my PhD in 2009, I use to host my best students for dinner in my house. I was taking this 300 level course that was considered difficult to pass. A course that gave me a reputation in ABU. In 2007 and 2008, I invited the students with A and B in the course to have dinner with me in my apartment to appreciate their hard work. I cooked the food for them. I was a good cook back then.
But there are things that most of the commenters don’t know about dinner in the UK. When anyone invites you for dinner in a restaurant in the UK, please hold your wallet as you will be responsible for your bill. He just wanted your company.
The day I arrived at the University of Leicester, my supervisor took me for lunch at the library cafe. It was more like a welcome-to-Leicester lunch. The second supervisor was with us. I ordered a cake and a cup of tea which was about £5. My supervisor said: Abdel, everyone pays for his food in England but since it’s your first day, I will pay for you. I thanked him but I didn’t learn the lesson. I later use my phone to calculate the naira equivalent of the small and a cup of tea and I was like, wow!
Shortly after I settled down in the lab at Leicester for my work in 2009, Antonio who did his PhD in our lab got engaged to his wife and was having an engagement dinner in Leicester. He was informed that there is a new guy (myself) in the lab and I was added to the table. It was a buffet and everyone was enjoying the food. I was new, had an issue eating their food, and wanted halal food. So I was picky and eat just a little rice. At the end of the dinner the total bill was shared among all of us and each of us was to pay £22.
Everyone immediately brought out their wallet but I brought out my phone. I quickly used it to calculate the naira equivalent. I was still thinking in naira. I was like how will I tell somebody in Nigeria that I spent this naira equivalent on one dinner? Then, I asked my colleague, Tong Liu, why we have to pay for the food and not the celebrant taking care of the bill, after all, we were invited. He replied that we just came to celebrate with him but we take care of our bills. That was the most painful £22 I paid in my 3 years 3 months in the UK and lesson learned. Then, I began to be mindful of dinner invitation acceptance.
A friend invited me for a birthday dinner and I asked her who will pay for the dinner and she said everyone will pay for their food. I told her how we do birthdays in Nigeria. I was like so, I will come for your birthday dinner, pay for my food, and will still buy a birthday gift for you? She said yes. I told her I will let her know if I will come. A day before the birthday she called to remind me and I told her I won’t be coming because of an engagement.
The picture of the dinner looked sweet but everyone at the table paid for their food. That is the culture there and they are used to it. I took a Canadian friend out for Pizza and when we were done she wanted to pay for her bill. I told her to hold on. That is not how we do it in Nigeria. I paid the bill for the two of us and she was surprised.
Meanwhile, you definitely won’t expect me to use my salary to organize a graduation dinner for you in Nigeria. But if you will pay for your food or pay for everyone, we can go to a nice restaurant for your graduation dinner. It can’t be on my salary.
©Amoka
