Being a spouse to the Nigerian man: The ultimate experience
By Barrister Douglas Ogbankwa
I am positive that when God created man in the Garden of Eden, He crafted a Hybrid version – the Nigerian Man.
Experiencing romance with a Nigerian Man on the global stage is truly memorable. To this and still remain sane, you might need a “Dating a Nigerian Man Survival Kit,” which could include an inhaler, anointing oil, a Bible, and a BP kit. Dating a Nigerian Man is as intriguing as the romantic blockbusters you watch on Netflix, African Magic Showcase/Urban, Iroko TV, etc.
A Nigerian man is a boisterous personality, flamboyant, benevolent, and tenacious. However, a word of caution: if you’re not prepared to date a Nigerian Man, don’t engage with him, as you might find yourself falling for him.
It’s a Nigerian man who can sweep you off your feet with the most romantic lines like “If loving you is a crime, I want to be a criminal.” Yet, in reality, some of them engage in online scams known as Come and Marry, a scheme that can leave you parting with nearly everything you have, all for a phantom marriage that only exists in dreams. This is sometimes referred to as the American Dream, as it remains only in your dreams.
Despite a few bad eggs, many Nigerian Men are genuinely hardworking individuals who wouldn’t ask you for a dime. A true Nigerian Man takes immense pride in his responsibilities. In Nigeria, it’s a well-known cultural norm for the man to cover the expenses on a date, whether he initiated it or not.
Moreover, a Nigerian Man never goes Dutch; he pays the bills, regardless of the amount. This practice stands as a hallmark of their identity.
Of course, there are flashy and extravagant blokes in Lagos Island and Abuja who have carved out a niche in servicing the rich and famous through discreet liaisons. This industry has developed much like a covert operation of the US Navy SEAL Team 6.
There’s a saying in Nigeria that dating a Nigerian is not a full-time job. However, in reality, dating a Nigerian is indeed a full-time commitment. As only a Nigerian Man might provide you with a monthly “salary” for being in a relationship or being married to him. This salary some times comes with other allowances, ranging from spending on human or “inhuman” hair I call it inhuman due to the extravagance of spending six figures on synthetic fibers to wardrobe shopping and extravagant birthday celebrations in exotic global destinations.
There’s another saying that suggests, Work hard and get rich, as riches can’t be sexually transmitted. Nevertheless, in Nigeria, wealth can and is sexually transmitted. Watching participants on a certain vintage reality show on pay TV and checking who they are romantically involved with can often shed light on how some persons got there
Sex plays a pivotal role in the power dynamics within Nigeria. Another aphorism asserts that in Nigeria, power is obtained through The 3 Bs” – Ballot, Bottom, and Bedroom Power. Oscar Wilde once remarked, “Everything in life is about sex; sex is all about power.”
Now venturing into the world of sex, a Nigerian Man is an acrobatic partner in the bedroom. Being intimate with a Nigerian Man offers a diverse range of experiences. It’s akin to dissecting the plot of a dramatic work, complete with a prologue that presents seductive reasons to be with him, such as stories of new contracts with institutions like the NNPC (Nigerian National Petroleum Corporation). The narrative then moves through rising action, complications, and climaxes – all in a positive sense, no need for any misconceptions 😄.
The Nigerian Man is an intriguing character. He possesses impeccable charisma, a sense of humor, and a knack for taking care of his woman. Yet, I advise you take caution, as becoming entangled with a Nigerian Man might leave you addicted, like a junkie hooked on cocaine. In such instances, you would require the “Dating a Nigerian Man Survival Kit” and hope to emerge intact, given that dating a Nigerian Man should be among the list of “a thousand ways to die”
I am proud to be a Nigerian Man, as it signifies a heritage that is truly special. I am proudly Green, White, and Green. If you agree, you’re free to go green. Nigeria: good people, great nation.
This piece was written by Barrister Douglas Ogbankwa, you can reach him through douglasogbankwa@gmail.com
