Change is constant in society, it comes with both positive and negative change. In our contemporary society today a lot has changed, and this change has negatively affected our women: their lifestyles, character, behaviour and relationship with male gender as a result of the wind of social change. If change is not well handled, it effects burnt one and all; it affects family and the society at large.
Women are adult female human being. They are female gender who are biologically endowed with reproductive system to procreate through the help of a man (husband). They are refer to as helpmeets in Christian religion. They play pivotal roles in the family and society. Without them life will be meaningless.
Marriage is coming together of a man and woman to start up a family. It’s a union of two matured adults who are willing to forgive and accept each other for who they are and forge ahead in building themselves for the betterment of themselves, the family and the society at large. Family is the smallest unit of the society. When a family is built on faulty foundation, it affect every facest of the society. That’s why most religious bodies advocate for godly marriage for the betterment of the society.
Marital delay is a situation where women find it difficult to settle down as a result of one problem or the other. These problems can be linked to physical or spiritual. Most women contribute to their marital delay, some have bad characters, while others have ugly lifestyles that have drove men away from them. Some have spiritual problems. All these problems go a long way to affect ladies from getting married on time or at all.
There are many factors that causes marital delay in our contemporary society. These factors are:
Premature Relationship : Many young ladies, especially those in secondary school below the age of adolescent go into relationship/dating without having knowledge of what they are doing. Some do that because they want to be hailed amidst their peer-groups. And before they know it unwanted pregnancy creeps in, which will lead to abortion upon abortion, because they are not physically, mentally and psychological ready to mother a child. Some ends up with serious and deadly STDs.
Engagement Ring : Many ladies see engagement ring as a sign of commitment and seriousness from the man, without knowing that engagement ring is tantamount to encagement ring. These naive ladies wear this ring to proof to family and friends that they are in a relationship relationship or probably taken. Unknown to them wearing the ring chase away real suitors. The men who cage them will use this opportunity to be knacking them wetin no good. And before you know it, the engagement is clocking 4-6 years and nothing has been done. Any man who is serious with a lady will go and see her parents to make his intentions known, not encaging her with ring for years.
Playing Hard to Get: It’s unfortunate that many ladies think playing hard to get to a man means they are not cheap. A reasonable lady won’t be playing hard-to-get. Some of these ladies play hard to get with the intention of making the man spend on them by taking them out to different sit-outs/joints like H-chicken restaurant . She hasn’t think of considering the man coming for her, but she’s busy accepting gifts, most times such ladies place demands on what they want. But, they have forgotten that these men are wise and ever ready to spend their last penny to get what they want. By the time the man lures her to his bed and tear her legs apart, he ceases to do anything for her, because she’s not sensible to prioritize what she wants in life.
Arrogant Spirit: The spirit of pride/arrogance has kept many ladies longer in their fathers’ house. Some of these ladies have high tastes. They place their eyes where they will never reach in life. On Sundays, after Mass/Service, these ladies will be working fast without turning either left or right to greet people. They feel too big to greet men and women. Even when Mazi wants to say hi, but their eyes are glued to their phones. They will marry themselves.
Denominational/Tribal Spirit: It’s unfortunate that many ladies have decided which denomination/tribe they must marry from. Even within the denomination they have vowed that the man must belong to a given spirit prayer groups in the church. But the truth remains that a woman doesn’t have a church until she’s married. Maybe after wedding, she will convince her husband to follow her to her church, if he so wish, that’s left for him. Real men are the head, and not the neck; the head moves the neck, and not the neck moves the head.
Bad Characters/Mood Swing: Bad character has chased many suitors away from beautiful ladies. These ladies know that they have bad characters, but the nickname it to “MOOD SWING”. Some of these ladies will give out their numbers, but they will be feeling too big to pick calls or even return missed calls. And even when you are talking to them on phone, they display nonchalant attitudes towards the conversation. And the funniest thing is, some of these ladies are poor, broke and sick. They apply packaging swags or methods to advertise their beauty: big nyash and breasts and forget that physical BEAUTY will attract a man, but CHARACTER will keep a man and make him her slave.
Poor Dress Sense: Many ladies dress like masquerades all in the name of fashion. Some dress half-naked – exposing their breasts, nyash and other sensitive parts of their bodies to everybody. They have forgotten that real men in Africa don’t eat UNCOVERED FOOD. It’s a public knowledge that the way one dresses is how he/she will be address. If a woman dresses like OLOSHO, she will be address as one, and no man will want to marry ASHAWO, never! When a woman dresses decent and responsible, she attracts reasonable and responsible men in her life.
Spiritual Problems: It’s is not longer a news that many ladies have spiritual problems. Many of these ladies you see walking on the streets have legion of demons living in them, they are looking for men/guys to possess. That’s why men must be very careful with the kind of women they sleep with. Many of these ladies are carriers of badlucks, setbacks, spiritual sicknesses, poverty, and even death. Some are agents of Satan sent to destroy people with purpose, visions and goals. They are also assigned to wreck havoc in marriages – causing divorce here and there by sleeping with married men and turning them into mumu. Some of these ladies have spiritual husbands, at night their husbands visit them in bed to scatter their thighs, left, right, back and center.
Hookuping/Dating Married Men: The nickname of ashawo/olosho is hookup. Many ladies in the tertiary institutions are into hookup, most of these ladies drop their beautiful pictures with phone numbers at hostels for them to be called when big fishes are in town. They give out their nicknames and hookup phone numbers to hotel managers/receptionists to keep for business purposes. These ladies enjoy hooking up with MARRIED MEN not for sexual gratification, but for love of money and material things. It’s unfortunate that many patients know, some don’t even know that their daughters are into hookup/ashawo business. These ladies may not know that these men are inter/intra connected in the media platforms. Some of these men share these ladies pictures (nudes) and phone numbers to their WhatsApp groups and personal chats to get their share of knacking/blow job. It’s well for these ladies. There are serious consequences for dating and knacking married men/women.
Too Religious/Over Spirituality: Many ladies are too spiritual in life, they are too busy with church/ministry activities here and there, without taking time to examine their lives critically. Some of these ladies are very close to their pastors/priests, they visit parish/pastor’s house to visit their spiritual daddies. Single men see all these things and smile over their f00lish religiousity. Such ladies will hardly get husband to marry, even if they wear MARY-AMAKA to church.
In conclusion, family and religious bodies must join hands together to sanitize and sensitize our young ladies to understand the need to have the fear of God and as well build character that will stand the test of time. Life is transient, and as such we must live our lives to please God. It’s written in the Christian Bible that: “The fear of God is the beginning of wisdom”. If parents will train their children with the fear of God, when they grow up (as youth) they will hardly depart from it. For us to have a healthy society, our women must be decent in thoughts, words and deeds.
Faith Jeptha, writes from University of Maiduguri, Borno State.
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