Honestly, I don’t think some Nigerians are fair to Innocent Idibia, also known as 2Face or 2Baba, regarding the divorce announcement he made. No doubt, Annie Idibia Macaulay loves 2Baba with every fiber of her being, but that’s not 2Baba’s fault. Loving your husband/wife is good, but loving them without first giving that love to yourself is, in itself, a lack of purpose and direction.
If you have dreams and aspirations and are deeply in love with yourself, finding your purpose in life, you won’t make your husband/wife the center of your happiness. No one can make you happy if you haven’t found yourself and what makes you happy. In fact, you can’t even love someone genuinely without thinking of what you would stand to gain if you haven’t discovered what makes you happy as a woman/man.
I fault Annie Idibia Macaulay for her obsession with 2Baba, and I’m not surprised that their marriage has come to this after years of living in denial of her realities. I sympathize with her, but it’s not 2Baba’s fault. He showed her long before he married her that he was marrying her out of pity, not love. He has no respect nor regard for her feelings, which is evident in his actions of getting involved with different women and baby mamas while dating Annie and even after marrying her.
For someone like Annie, who was also doing well in her acting career, I expected her to invest her time and energy in herself and her career. However, her obsession with 2Baba was stronger than her pursuing her purpose.
It’s a lesson to all women: marriage is good, but don’t lose yourself in that marriage and forget to put your happiness first. Your happiness does not lie with your husband; build yourself and aspire to do something for yourself. Aspire to find your purpose and calling in life; that’s where you will find fulfillment, not just in marriage.
God didn’t create you as a woman just to come and bear a man’s name alone; you are created for a reason, and it’s your responsibility to find that reason and purpose.
Many times, a man treats you exactly how he feels about you. Often, his ill treatment towards you is for you to get the message and leave him alone, especially when he knows you have sacrificed a lot for him, and he doesn’t want to bring himself to telling you he doesn’t want you anymore.
Men hate to admit they have fallen out of love with you; they will keep pretending they are in love with you just to make you feel better about yourself. However, their continued cheating with different women is the answer you need to convince yourself that he has no regard for you nor your feelings.
Trust me, men who value and respect their wives don’t cheat close to where their wives will find out, and they don’t cheat with just any woman. They are always considering their wives’ feelings in every step they take. But if he can comfortably cheat on you openly enough for you to find out, then just stay and bear your Mrs. in peace, and stop fighting him or the side chicks. Start working on yourself instead, because your marriage has hit rock bottom.
Culled from Afi Niky, a relationship counsellor based in Abuja.
