Let’s say it plainly: too many women are entering marriage to escape poverty. And too many men are being chosen not for character, but for bank balance.
It’s called “marriage as poverty alleviation.”
On the surface, it looks strategic. “Marry rich, your problems end.” Family pressure joins in: “This man has house, car, dollars. What else do you want?” Social media even celebrates it. “Secure the bag” is now relationship advice.
But here’s the problem. When marriage becomes a financial rescue plan, three things break.
1. The foundation is wrong. Marriage is meant to be partnership, companionship, purpose. If the only reason you said “yes” is rent, school fees, and escape from hardship, what happens when money gets tight? Resentment. Infidelity. Quiet suffering. You didn’t marry a person. You married a salary.
2. It empowers exploitation. Men who know they are being “used” also start using. “I’m paying your bills, so you must…” Consent gets blurred. Boundaries disappear. Some women endure abuse because “where will I go?” That’s not marriage. That’s economic hostage.
3. It devalues women’s own power. The cruelest part? It tells a generation of women that their degree, skill, and hustle can’t lift them. So wait for a man. But no man should be a government palliative. And no woman should have to trade dignity for survival.
Don’t get me wrong. It’s not a crime to want financial stability in a spouse. We all do. The issue is when that is the only criteria.
The real poverty alleviation is education, skills, jobs, and financial independence for women. So that we choose partners from a place of strength, not desperation.
Marriage should add to your life, not be your entire life plan. Because a ring is not a job. A husband is not a ministry of finance. And love built only on money collapses the moment the money does.
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bcradle@ymail.com